Portrait of Isolation - The Puppeteer

This painting is based on Zara who shared her thoughts and feelings during via a series of emails during lockdown. It conveys the realisation that her anxiety was not bigger than her. That she was in control – she was the puppeteer – initially a scary thought, but ultimately empowering – and a source of HOPE

Unlike the hand-washing painting where the idea emerged very quickly, with Zara it was a much more iterative process – where she shared her thoughts and feelings – and I would follow up with questions. Thus creating this painting became a journey of self-discovery.

Leading ultimately to the idea of a Puppeteer. This was something Zara mentioned quite early in our dialogue – but the key moment was when I asked her “who was the puppeteer”. From there the idea for the painting emerged. I asked her how she felt about being “in” the painting – something I felt would make the piece more powerful and personal – but also, I knew is a big step psychologically and emotionally. It is the point when the painting moves from third to first person. When the painting becomes about you and not just an abstract idea. Zara has recorded her thoughts about the experience – one thing she said, that will resonate with many people, is “sometimes you think you are screaming – but you don’t realise that others don’t realise” – so share – its OK to have feelings.

I will be adding a link to Zara’s recorded comments, and to the Podcast she has made with Jess - “Mum’s unscripted” – with the goal of allowing Mum’s to know they are not alone … and that there is no shame attached to their feelings.