What Does It Mean to Be Seen? Part 1

"Seeing the movement and repetition in the work brought some tears. I felt very seen and moved by it."

After Em said she felt very seen in response to the painting based on our dialogue, I began to reflect on what it meant to be seen and why it was important.

For the past six years, I have been working with people who have experienced many different forms of trauma. My process on the surface is quite simple: a dialogue between myself and each participant, followed by the creation of a painting as my creative response to their narrative, and then sharing that artwork first with the subject and then the wider public. However, this journey from conversation to painting is rarely direct; the road can be very winding and sometimes long.

At the end of the journey, I ask each participant how they feel about the painting. Looking back, I’ve realised that one idea seems to run through this feedback—a sense of feeling and being seen. As Susana, one of my first participants, notes, “To be seen is something we all desire, but for those who have endured trauma, the need can feel even more pressing.“

Each of my two paintings of Susana, separated by five years, was based on her own self-portrait photographs. In those works, Susana’s image was central to the painting, but often, like Em, the subject is not shown in the painting. So when they talk of “being seen,” it is not about being physically seen; it is much more about a sense of being understood and validated during our conversations. It is only because of this seeing that the painting can be meaningful, something that perhaps reveals parts of ourselves we may not have fully acknowledged. In this latter sense, being seen truly means offering different perspectives that may be surprising and deeply moving.

Safe Connection

Thus, to be seen is more than just to be observed; it’s about feeling safe in sharing our most vulnerable parts. Does the conversation feel safe and non-judgmental? For true healing, trust is essential.

Skyban described to me the profound relief of being accepted without judgement: “I felt valid, and I felt validated, and I didn’t have to be seen for that to happen. There was no judgement—just curiosity and total acceptance.”

Zara echoed this sentiment, saying, “Andy understood exactly what I was trying to express and allowed my words alone to paint the picture, rather than expanding on them. I felt my story was validated by Andy because it was enough on its own.”

Sometimes, simply knowing someone else holds space for your story provides validation. This aligns with Richard Erskine’s concept of therapeutic attunement, an emotional sensing of others, an understanding of metaphorically being in their skin, going beyond empathy to create a two-person experience of unbroken feeling connectedness.

Such trustful intimacy in and of itself fosters healing, providing a compassionate space for sharing.